To big chop or not, that is the question? Part 3

*Note: This post was written weeks/months before posting. I was still deciding whether or not to blog.

So, I have been deeply mulling over this belief that long hair equals beauty. After many nights of ranting to the bestie, I discovered that this “conditioning” came from many areas in my childhood which followed me into my adulthood. I remember in the 7th grade I got my first hair cut. I was very excited and loved it. I was an 80’s baby so the hair style I had was a mushroom cut with long hair in the back. All of my friends loved it and I did to until I overheard this particular conversation. There were these two boys who sat in the back of the classroom. One of the guys, the girls were absolutely crazy over. The other, well let’s just say his mommy loved him very much. Anyway, they were discussing what girls they thought were pretty and which ones were not. As they were judging girl after girl my name came up. I heard them both agree that I was cute except my hair was too short and I would be fine if I wasn’t bald headed. I turned around and said, “umm, excuse me but you cannot see my scalp and my hair is short by choice!” One of the long haired girls said, “yeah right.” Then, the boys said, prove it. Bring a picture tomorrow. By this time I am pissed, but being the Aries that I am I arise to challenges with the utmost intentions of crushing my opponent. I reply, not only will I bring a picture, I’ll show you (the girl who said yeah right) that my hair was longer than yours!

The next day I brought my pics and the boys say, “you are so pretty, why did you cut your hair?” Although I poked my chest out and gave those two a piece of my mind, that moment stuck with me deep inside my subconscious. Also, many of the guys I dated when I grew up were stuck on long hair. Even my grandmother was obsessed with it. When I told her I was thinking about going natural she was fine. But when I said I was thinking about cutting my hair she told me I was crazy and just about bit my head off. My apprehensions about cutting my hair began to makes sense to me now. I was now determined to shake off these past experiences and redefine for myself what beauty means. Also, I have a beautiful daughter who looks up to me and it is my job to set the example of how she should view herself. So, I shared these inner discoveries with the hubby, who loves long hair btw. However, he is totally supportive of whatever I decide to do, I’ll always be beautiful no matter what (hey, those were his words not mine lol)!

So, with that being said…

Big Chop Oct.16th, 2011

I did it! I cut off all of my heat trained hair and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

Until next time…Lotus Blossom out!

Umm, new style…I think. (I tried) lol

*Note: This post was written months before posting. I was still deciding whether or not to blog.

So, I’ve been trying out new styles I’ve seen on my hair and, well…no. Let’s just say I need to stick with what works, lol. Well, at least I tried! Enjoy…

I flat twisted the front of my hair

See, I already knew this wouldn't work lol.

Then I bantu knotted the rest.

Results

What do you all think?

Talk to you all later…xoxo

Transitioning hair styles (wins and fails)

*Note: This post was written months before posting. I was still deciding whether or not to blog.

 

As I stated in a previous post, bantu knots and pony tails are my go to hair styles while I am transitioning. I’ve added buns to the list and attempts at twist outs/braid outs. I have had some great hair days and some not so great days. Here are a few pics giving you a glimpse of what my journey has been like so far…enjoy.

My go to style…

Bantu knots

Bantu Knot (win)

Pony Tail

Twist Out

Twist Out (Fail)

Wash N Go

WnG ( major FAIL)

Yeah it pretty much obvious that WnG’s are NOT an option right now. That was a major fail.

Until next time …(Whatcha’ll doing)?

To big chop or not, that is the question? Part 2

*Note: This post was written months before posting. I was still deciding whether or not to blog.

I have been enjoying my transitioning  journey for some time now.  My new growth is coming along quite nicely. However, every once and awhile I look at my hair and wonder what my texture will be?  How will it curl?  Will it be loose or tightly coiled?  Then I imagine what I would look like if I got my big chop now? I would take a section of my hair when wet, find the line of demarcation and imagine how many inches would be left. Then I would damn near have a panic attack when thinking of chopping off my hair.  I’d shake these thoughts off with a “hmmph” and walk away.

Each day my curiosity of what my texture would become grows more and more while my fear of cutting my hair grows as well. What am I afraid of? Yes, the easy answer would be cutting my hair but I feel there is something more. Some “thing” that lies beneath the surface that I can’t quite put my finger on. Now I bet some of you are saying, “really Jiquay, it’s not that serious.” I’m telling you, IT’S THAT SERIOUS. As you continue to read my blogs you’ll realize I’m an unnecessarily complex person lol.  Any-who, after accompanying my cousin to get her bc (who btw just decided, “ok let’s do this”), and gasping after my friend showed up with her hair cut off out the blue; I knew it was time to figure out what was holding me back.

I’d like to take this time to tell the hubby and the bestie thanks so much for listening to my rants about why I need to cut my hair but not really at 3 in the morning! Hey pookie bear and Angel!!!!! Seriously, I’m taking these people through changes. I keep going back and forth. Up and down. Who knew hair could take me through so many emotions? I continued to contemplate what was holding me back and I finally realized what I was afraid of. I didn’t know who I would be without my hair. I had become so attached to my hair that I could not see myself without it. I identified with my hair. I was shocked and livid at the same time. How did I get here?  Where did I develop the belief that long hair equals beauty? It was time to find out…

Until next time… (Whatcha’ll doing 😉 )?

The qualities we admire in others are already apart of us.

*Note: This post was written months before posting. I was still deciding whether or not to blog.

18 was the age I began admiring the girls with the big curly hair. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. However, my hair was bone straight and I just didn’t possess those type of genes so I just admired them and moved on. I had to work with what I had. Back in Jr. High I stayed with the local trends in hair. My mom allowed me to be a little freer in that area the older i  became,which was far from where I had come. My hair regimen as a child was wash, condition, sit under a dryer until dry, hot comb with grease, and various pony tails. My grandmother was a hair stylist who prided herself on being able to grow and maintain hair. She was right to do so because she had my hair down the middle of my back.  No matter how much i begged her to relax my hair, she refused.

After my mom and dad split we moved to a different state away from my grandmother. My mom continued the hair regimen faithfully (plus a few burned ears).  Fast forward to Jr. high as we returned from summer break, things had changed. There were no more ponytails and barrettes. They were replaced with wrap styles, asymmetrical cuts, and relaxers. Here I am thinking I’m cute with my one big pony tail to the side and a big bow. Geesh, how come I didn’t get the memo? I couldn’t wait until I got home so I could reason with my mom on the necessity of getting a relaxer. After all, I was older now and needed a more mature look. Before the words perm could come out of my lips, no was declared to my dismay. I had to regroup, there had to be a way to appeal to my mom. After about a day or so of plotting on the phone with my friends, we came up with the ultimate pro-relaxer argument. Mom, if you put a relaxer in my hair, it will cut our hair routine time tremendously.  (Not bad for a bunch of 7th graders huh?)  Any who, she thought it over and decided to apply a Juust for meee (singing the commercial)! SN: Just for me was just a horrible, horrible relaxer. I mean really. Basically, I was on the creamy crack from that point on until I turned 24/25. Until then I cut my hair short, grew it  back out, wore it in hard gel styles, braids, color, highlights and whatever else the trend was at that time. Not to mention relaxing my own hair in between salon visits myself because I could get it straighter. (Yeah right LOL , I tickle myself  sometimes).

After years of hair abuse, my hair decided she couldn’t take it anymore. I was in my phase of wanting long hair and growing it back. However, I noticed that my hair in the back of my head at the top-middle section was extremely short while the rest of my hair was just past shoulder length. I decided to go to the salon and see what was going on. She told me it was a stress spot and it had damage. We came up with a treatment plan and decided to try it out for about 3 months and see if that helps. She explained that if it didn’t get better that she would have to cut my hair short and I’d have to start fresh. I DID NOT WANT THAT. So I followed the plan faithfully but to no avail. Alas, we would have to cut my hair. Needless to say I cried like a baby. I rocked the short hair for about a year and then decided it was time to grow my hair back. When I informed my stylist of this she said okay. Then she dropped a bomb on me.  I’m not going to relax your hair anymore since you are growing it out and you can’t have any color either. My mouth dropped. She explained that she felt that to keep my hair at its healthiest it is best to eliminate all chemicals whatsoever and do thermal heating instead ( just a fancy way of saying flat ironing).  After the complete shock and ranting about how nappy my hair would be, I finally relented and began my long hair journey. My hair growth was very successful. It grew back very thick and long. I’m talking past BSL long ( that includes every bra I owned).

So, it’s 2011 and my hair is long, healthy, and full. I don’t have a complaint in the world except, I’m bored. My hair is boring and blah and I’m tired of wearing the same styles over and over. So I call up my stylist and ask for color. Something to liven up my hair. I get a warm rich brown with golden brown highlights. I absolutely loved it. While at the salon I tell my stylist I am bored with my hair and wanted to perhaps get a sew in of big curly hair. She informs me that my hair is too long and thick for a sew in style. So I say what about braids? She replies, your hair is too long for braids. Ugh! Well cutting my hair is NOT an option since I worked hard to grow it. She replies, Girl i don’t blame you. Hell I took the journey with you. I then asked, why can’t I wear my hair curly, I mean when my hair gets wet it curls up. She says, you just don’t have that textured type of hair (don’t give me the side eye; when we know better, we do better). Ugh. I really like that hair I say. Frustrated and bored, I returned home. That night I went home and turned the TV to HGTV.

A new show was coming on and its host was Tanika Ray. She had the most beautiful big curly hair and she looked like me. I thought to myself, umm, is she mixed because she doesn’t look mixed but she has big curly hair!!! I immediately picked up my laptop and typed “Tanika Ray Hair. The first link I saw was Tanika Ray’s Hair Journey on curlynikki.com.” I was opened to a whole new world!!! I had no idea that this world existed!! I saw so many different women who looked like me rocking the big curly hair. I was so freaking stoked!! I read for hours and hours until my eyes were burning, only to wake up and start it all over again the next night. Oh, and when I discovered the natural hair community on youtube…that. was. all. she. wrote. I immediately announced to everyone, I’m going natural. Thus my natural hair journey began. Hmph, it turns out I could have been big haired and curly after all .

Well, those are my thoughts of the day. What cha’ll doing? 😉

Hair during relaxer days

Growing hair back post relaxer

Regrowth, no chemicals but consistent straightening

Transitioning Style (bantu knots)

Hugs and Kisses!